My life at DESPO – Episode 20

“If to say na just me e e e

I’ll be living like i dont care

Live my life unto nobody dey here

If na just me e e e,i’ll be doing anyhow

Because nobody go dey here to challenge


Nobody is supernatural,diverse is the spirit

of the carnival

Your personality e no matter at all

Individuality cannot make us tall

I sing,i sing for all of y’all

Dont let anybody push you to the wall

Na community na hin make us all

Secret society na hin break us all

I dont want to be talking like a preacher at


I dont want to dey like say i sabi pass all

I know say no be everybody sabi play ball

But arise O’ Compatriots

If nigeria call

So make you just dey do your thing

Make i do my thing

If i like living instead of to be feeling like a

king on top nothing

Stop the braggin

And stop the posing

Cuz all na vanity vanishing” –

i sang this verse of 2face’s Only me track in my mind while i watched my fellow butchers being dragged away.

I had some wild thoughts like, what if i was caught with them and being dragged about like that, what would be my (chemical) reaction?

How would i face my course mates?

Would i still have the courage to continue school? (shame for jus finish me!).

And the question that bothered me most was.. What if the school decided to expel the students involved, how do i get to explain to my parents at home? (how i wan tey start?)

I felt pity for the boys caught, while i began to thank God for my life. I thanked God for his Grace in my life. If not for God’s oil in my head, i nor know where i for dey cos i don enta many big problems, but na God dey rescue me.

If your head don’t have oil, go and ask God to give now you oh cos, it’s very important.

Now for your own benefit, place your hands on your head and say after me, o my head!, receive God’s oil now! Receive!!!

(Don’t look at me like that, i am not a pastor oh) lol

After the boys were dragged to the community’s secretariat, i left the woman’s shop, crossed to the other side of the road and entered school. When i got to my department, i met my HOD addressing the class.

“it has gotten to our notice that some group of students of this school killed a stray cow in staff qtrs, yesterday, those students involved would be severely punished for trying to tarnish the image of this school,”

“you were sent here to learn, not to go and kill cow,”

“so, if  you are involved or you know anyone that is involved, come and report yourself or the person you know, so we can settle the matter amicably,”

“if any student of this department is involved and after this message, refuses  to come and see me in my office, if such student is caught, i will personally expel him from this department!,”

” a word is enough for the wise, thank you!” Our HOD said in conclusion before he left the hall. I started contemplating on whether to go and report myself or not. Twas a war of wits

” you better go meet HOD for office now oh, to avoid stories that touch o” my 1st mind told me.

” no go meet anybody, wetin dey do you? You be coward?,” my 2nd mind countered.

“you don start oh, na so i tell you make you no go staff qtrs yesterday, you no hear oh,” the 1st mind replied

” nor go anywhere guy, dem no fit catch you yesterday, na only you wan con submit yourself? No try am oh!

I followed my 2nd mind’s advice and decided not to report myself.

Nothing dey happen! Na we dey here, na we get am! I go nowhere! (voltage!) lol

“Creating problems is easy. We do it all the time. Finding solutions, ones that last and  produce good results, requires guts and care.”

Class went on smoothly after the HOD’s announcement.  Some students were still discussing about the cow issue though.

I overheard a girl say, if she sees anyone involved, she would personally go and report such person to the HOD (if you see d kine eye wey i take look her ehn) . Why is it that some people can do all sort of things just to get noticed? Over sabi pipo.

After class, i went to the ATM in school to recheck my account balance. When i saw it, i smiled cos i stil had some money in there. (money dey give person confidence oh)

Right there at the ATM stand, i decided not to overstress my brain thinking about solution to the cow issue again. I made that decision cos of the money in my account, i felt if worst comes to worse, na to use money settle the matter las las (even bible talk say ‘Money answereth all things’).

After i left the ATM, i went to my brother’s department in Engineering and gave him situation report, and after i narrated everything to him, he told me not to be worried, that he will take me to his friend place if the situation gets critical. I thanked him and left.

I didn’t inform him the previous day cos i wanted to carry my cross on my own. I decided to tell him should anything happen, it won’t take him unaware, make he for nor ask question like ‘Why you no tell me?’ (shey you understand?)

When i left my brother’s department, i called a friend of mine at home , Azo, i told him the problem i was involved in, so he should be prepared to assist me should the money in my account couldn’t solve the problem.

After the call, i felt better cos i was having 2 back up plans which were:

  1. The money in my account
  2. My brother’s friend place around the school

With the new found joy and confidence in me, i branched a restaurant inside the school compound, and ordered for Yellow-yellow (owho and starch), they served me, i ate, paid and left.

When i got outside school gate, i crossed to the woman’s shop i branched that morning when my fellow butchers were dragged.

‘Good afternoon, mama. How you dey na, i wan buy peanut’ i told her. I bought the peanut so it won’t look like i went to interrogate her (make she no go suspect me)

When she brought the peanut, i paid her with 1k note deliberately. While she was searching for the change to give me, i quickly asked her,

‘ehen mama, how dem con do those boys for morning pass sef?

” those boys, community chairman them say make dem call their parents com, den if their parents dun pay the cow money, before dem go release dem,”

” na community chairman pay the aboki their cow money make peace for reign,”

“now when dem don settle the aboki so, problem no dey again,”

“na for the boys wey dem catch to refund the cow money give chairman remain oh,” she replied as she handed me my change. I smiled, collected my change, thanked her and left.

After i left the woman’s shop, my joy increased as i located the nearest bar to take one or two very chilled bottles of chilled Heineken (mortuary standard o), to celebrate my new found peace of mind. ( e no easy!)

The problem wasn’t over oh, but i felt as if there wasn’t a problem.

Self-motivation is bae! If nobody motivates you, you have to motivate yourself, keep your head high and keep yourself going.

After i drink the two bottles of cold heneiken finish, i con pay. As i get up make i dey go, my body con dey do me one kine one kine, i con dey feel like say i don manya oh (e no go work!), on a norm 2 bottles no fit shake me na. (enemies at work oh!) lol

I sat down, while i ordered for blue bullet(energy drink) cos i cannor com and fall my hand there. I nor wan hear say dem use wheel barrow tey carry me go house oh. Lol.

I was sipping from the can of blue bullet when meekest called me and the following conversation ensued,

meekest: hello, hwfa na

me: coward! I bam o, wetin dey sup?

meekest: nothing o, army neva com carry you from your department?

me: yess o, infact, na guard room i dey now sef, iddiioot!

meekest: dem waste time sef o. I dey hear loud music for the background o, where u dey?

me: i dey one side, i just down 2 bottles of heneiken take clear road. Hwfa, your mind dey? If you like drink, go collect 1 bottle of star from any bar wen near you, anytime i com town i go pay. Lol

meekest: see kolo! You nor get sense o, lol

me: e better say i nor get sense, than to be coward like you, foool! Lol

meekest: omo, i call Queen just now o, she say community people com our lodge yesterday o, dem con say na we go pay the cow money o.

me: ehen, wetin con happen? How dat take affect the amount of school fees?

meekest: oshare serious for once, wetin dey worry you sef?

me: na you dey worry me so na, Ode!

meekest: guy dem say our lodge go pay 240k, and we be six for the lodge, na 40k reach each person, so ready to pay d 40k o

me: for wetin? Oga, i nor be student of this school again oh, i don expel myself. Anytime you com, you pay the 40k, you hear?

meekest: i don tell you finish oh.

me: guy, nor lemme slap you through the phone oh, you well?

me: nor worry, by the time wen i don carry community com pick you ehn, your mind go dey.

me: gerrahere mehn! If you like carry full barrack com, e no concern me.

If me and my guys dey yab each other ehn, who nor know us go think say we get beef before, but na our normal life be dat, no reason am. We dey attack(yab) ourselves almost all the time. Lol

After the call session, i finished the blue bullet, stood up feeling energetic, paid and left. When i got home, i freshened up and layed on my bed while i picked my phone and searched the internet for answers to an assignment we were given in class.

The rest of days of the week were uneventful till the Sunday meekest returned back to school.


To be continued.

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