My Life At DESPO – Episode 33

“Clear conscience fears no accusations”, i know, but my conscience wasn’t clear nau, you don forget say na me and gbokodo carry the cow head, ehn?

Whatever made the soldier man made that statement, i don’t know but, what i knew was that things are not working in my favor, things don dey cast for me smal-smal.

I decided to dialed God’s number in my mind once again, ‘Father Lord, if you can deliver me from this problem now, i promise, i won’t do it again cos, if you allow these soldier men carry me go their barrack, dem go just use beating take end my career oh’.

While i was waiting for God to pick up my call, the two boys finished their partners-in-crime- search, it was a massive failure though cos they couldn’t recognize anyone.

If only they recognized me, chai,  I guess you wouldn’t be reading this story by now.. lol.

The army men came outside with the 2 boys to meet the community chairman and I, outside, just then our HOD walked.

He exchanged greetings with the military men and they briefed him the reason they came and all that.

“we are taking this student with us, he acted suspiciously while we were inside, we just want to take him for some questioning and bring him back after we are through with him,” one of the soldier man told my HOD while he patted my back.

“and bring him back after we are through with him,” that line kept on echoing in my head.

To me o, dat word ‘through with him’ na big word o!

My minds started playing games with me, they gave me different definitions of the word ‘through’ Definitions like;

  1. ‘Through with him’ means after dem don design my back with enough lashes of koboko!


  1. ‘Through with him’ means after dem don use me do frog-jump till 3yrs comot from your life


  1. ‘Through with him’ fit still mean after dem don use dagger draw stretch-mark for my body


  1. E fit still mean after them don panel-beat me or finish me with those kine slaps slap till your brain format

Omo, na once afraid hold me o, my mind really messed with my brain that moment till i took in a deep breath and exhaled and like magic, those killer-definitions evaporated from my mind.

*Research shows that when you seemed worried/confused, just take a deep breath in, relax and breathe out, and you will feel relaxed. You might not see result in the 1st try, try again for some time and you will feel its effect. It works most times.

Who even ask me qstn sef? Lol


After i exhaled, my HOD asked if i was alright, and i said yes, just that i don’t know the offense i committed for the soldier men to take me outside.

‘ sir, my pen fell down and while i bent down to pick it up, this officer looked at my direction that moment and accused me of hiding, is it a crime to pick up my pen from the floor, or is it because i’m a bloody civilian?’, i asked almost in a whisper with a sober look. (if i try am raise voice, hmm)

Dis my mouth no go put me for trouble one day o, i said those words without pausing.

I looked like a sheep that was about to be slaughtered, all my hope and mind don jump window leave me, i jus weak.

” say your last prayers”, my 1st mind said.

” guy, lock-up, all die na die”, my 2nd mind countered.

Those words took the military men by suprise cos they didn’t experrerit.

Even me wey talk am, i nor know where the combination of words and confidence com from oh, na there i take believe say, ‘God works in a mysterious way’. somborry shout Halleluyaahhhhhh. lol

We all stood there in silence, while i stood with my head bowed, staring at the floor like i was searching for my destiny.

Soldier man 1: **clears throat** young man, we are in a student environment, and we are expected to thread with care but, that shouldn’t give you the priority to flaunt orders and simple instructions, you are supposed to compose yourself when the boys started their identification search cos, at that point everyone is a suspect.

Me: aahh! Officer, “everyone is a suspect”, hmm, that means you are stil a suspect o, i said in my mind

Soldier man 2: Birthday boy, we didn’t mean to take you with us to the barrack, we said that to frighten you and see your reaction.

Me: officer, for your full life, nor play that kine play with me again o, nor try am again.

“frighten and see your reaction indeed!” i be chemical? Officer, if i vex, you no go like me o, i replied him, in my mind though. (i still love my life ) lol

HOD: *smiled, officers, look what you have done, you have disorganized his mind frame, anyways no problem, thanks for your wisdom in handling the issue.

Me: Sir, why you go thank dem na, dem dey misbehave o,see as dem be like gallant soldiers, i said in my mind as they left with the 2 boys.

After the military men left, i just stood transfixed on that spot like i was glued there.

The funniest part about the whole scenario was that, that day wasn’t even my birthday, i don’t even know where that lie came from, some kine situations go make you do some kine tins wey you no expect.

I just smiled at the of how things played out.

If those military men had carried me to the barrack like they said earlier, i knew nothing would had stopped me from getting admitted in Delta State Teaching Hospital (DELSUTH) cos, they would v been ‘through with me’, properly.

I imagined i was admitted, with one of my leg suspended with a rope tied to the ceiling, my face bandaged, my hands wrapped with iced block to revive the dislocated bones.

I just imagined the drilling added weight to my eyes, lips and head, that kind of scary face that a baby sees and starts crying.

I just smiled at the wild thoughts that ran through my mind before i went back inside the class.

When i entered, the whole class first went silent like they’v seen a ghost before they burst out laughing.

I didn’t mind them o, i just walked back to my seat jejely and when i sat down, a boy came to me with a smile on his, i guess he was holding himself from laughing and that got me annoyed.

Why somebody go just com dey laugh me for my own sit, nor be temptation be dat? “Birthday boy, wetin those soldier tell you for outside?” he asked me while he sat close to me.

‘who be dis fool na, man stil dey do aproko?’ i asked, in my mind.

I acted like i didn’t see or hear him and brought my phone out from my pocket, i plugged my ear piece on my phone and inserted it on my ears while nodding my head like i was enjoying a jam.

“this boy no well o,” the boy said and laughed.

I heard what he said cos i just placed the ear piece on my ears without playing any music, i did that to pass him the message that i wasn’t ready to answer his Jamb question, but he thought i was listening to music cos i was nodding my head before he made that statement.

Mind you, Rose was the only one i was talking to in my department as at then, and remember that Rose and i had a little misunderstanding on our way to class that morning.

I continued nodding my head and pretending not to hear him but, the boy didn’t get the busy signal i sent till he made the next comment, ” see as the kolo dey nod head like lizard” he said while he laughed.

The way the questionnaire boy laughed attracted some attention to my seat. I caught Rose staring at me and she looked away immediately our eyes met.


To be continued…

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