Stories

My Life At DESPO – Episode 34

The boy’s behavior really provoked me and I was boiling inside of me, my felt my hands vibrating, if i dey vex my body go dey shake o. Lol (If i dey vex, i dey know).

First of all cos, i don’t trust myself when i’m extremely angry, na so i put my hands inside my pocket o cos at that moment ehn, to tear the boy better slap just dey hungry me.

The more the boy laughed, the hotter my temper got, was contemplating what to do when i heard the voices of my minds argue,

1st Mind: guy nor reason the boy, na mumu dey worry am

2nd Mind: guy woze the stupid boy dirty slap, im dey mad?

1st mind: just lock-up, wen he dun laugh tire, he go leave you alone

2nd mind: i say make you give the boy fly nodding, head dat him big lips tear, iiddoottt boy!

1st mind: remember say you nor dey like unnecessary attention o, na devil dey tempt you so o

2nd mind: ogbeni, i say make you beat the devil or demon comot from the mumu body, use am as your scapegoat so dat others go dey give you maximum regard.

1st mind: if you fight for the class, you don fall your hand be dat o, ona HOD fit even expel you sef.

2nd mind: na madness? Why dem go expel am, wen dis fool dey run him mouth like tap head wey spoil so, people no dey see am.

Guy abeg close the boy ear with slap jare, make he get sense

1st mind: abeg, no show yourself for here o, just maintain your lowkey, talk nor dey kill person.

2nd mind: i say make you run enter the foolish boy like person wey thief army man money

1st mind: remember say you just dey comot from army wahala o, relax na

I took the advice of my 1st mind this time, to avoid stories that touch cos i didn’t want to create a scene in the class.

I removed the earpiece from my ears, stared at the boy while he was still laughing, carried my back and stood up to leave the class, while i was walking out,i stopped midway and took a look at him with a smile on my face before i bounced out.  (That smile meant many things)

When i got outside, i decided to go and check meekest in his department, remember i left him at home cos he was sleeping and a bit high cos of the drinks we drank after we settled lover-boy’s case.

When i got to his department, he was there with some people.

‘ his royal highness, igweee!’, i hailed him while laughing.

I hailed the guys that were with meekest while we shook our hands.

” na me you dey call His Royal Highness(HRH) abi, make i nor answer you for here, we go settles scores for house”, meekest told me with a frown on his face ( the boy no get joy).

‘bros, na my fault say you….’, no make me talk oh, wetin dey do you, na me you dey squeeze dat your black face dey waan like dat? If you make me vex now, i go just go upload your pics when i take for your facebook timeline oh, or i go upload am, then tag you, dat time you go con get sense’, i replied him.

” shuo, bros you and dis my guy get beef before? Wetin dey happen na?,” one of the boys with meekest asked me.

‘ bros no worry, e no concern you, na family matter so, make you no put your mouth,’ i replied the intruder.

” skilo, nor put your mouth for our mata o, we know as we take dey settle ourselves”, meekest added and i smiled.

‘ my broda, my friend!’ i hailed meekest after he said that cos, that was the fact.

******

Let me tell you something, there was a day meekest and i had a misunderstanding that almost resulted to 3rd World War, we were exchanging words (yabbing), he was inside while i was outside when we activated our para mood.

‘ guy see, if you make me vex pass like dis ehn, i go burst your head and when i don see say you don lose enough blood and you don weak, before i go carry you go chemist make dem stitch your head,’

‘Na me go pay for the stitching o cos, i know say you go don learn your lesson,’

‘ the worse part be say even if i burst your head or break your leg, e nor mean say we go quarrel o, infact, na their our friendship go take even strong pass,’

‘by the time you born, you go dey use your condition take dey advice your children’

‘if any of your pikin misbehave, you go call am sit down, use the mark for your big-for-nothing head tey advice am say, ” my pikin, you dey see dis big mark wey dey my head so, na because of my misbehaviour wey i misbehave, na im make bros Efe give me dis mark oh,’

‘so, if you no behave yourself well, say na misbehave you wan misbehave, i go just carry you go Efe place for your holiday, by the time he done drill you once, you go swear for life say you no go misbehave again”

‘by that time i go dey use you take dey show bad example give my children,’

‘ if any of dem wan try misbehave, i go just advice dem say, ‘you better behave yourself or else, i’ll put a big scar on your head like i did to uncle meekest’s head when he misbehaved,’ i said still in our War-of-Word mode and i was suprised when meekest started laughing.

‘Nor be dis boy wan mad so?,’ i asked myself cos were he didn’t reply me but instead, he started laughing hysterically.

” which body you wan take burst my head so? You wey him like tooth-pick, i go jus break you,” meekest finally replied me while he continued laughing.

And like magic, i started laughing cos it sounds funny comparing me to a toothpick, na so i thin reach? Lol

That was how we settled what could had resulted to World War III while laughing like we inhaled laughing gas.

*******

Back to the matter,

i excused meekest from the midst of his guys, we went outside and i briefed him how i just escaped from army wahala and how i would have been in the barrack receiving the beating of my life while writing my own book of lamentations.

“oboy, give me the full gist, start am from beginning, i dey like this kine story,” meekest said while laughing.

‘no worry, i go give you the full details for house’

‘hwfa, you don chow(eat) dis morning? My belle don dey halla battery low since oh, make we enta canteen go find somtin chop first na,’ i suggested.

” i neva eat o, just that i abuse G4(garri) make my eye for clear well before i come school.

* to abuse g4 mean say, only you go soak enough garri wey like 2 or 3 people go drink finish. It means eat more than enough quantity of soaked garri at a go.

‘you eyes need to clear o, i understand cos, nor be your ordinary eyes you take go sleep for bathroom yesterday o, chai’ i said while laughing, he attempted to hit me but, i dodged.

While we were walking towards the back of his department where different canteens were situated to buy something for our stomach infrastructure, a girl approached us.

The girl hugged meekest, that kind of romantic hug and meekest smiled sheepishly like a monkey that was given banana.

After they separated from the hug, meekest said, “Efe meet my girlfriend, Tovia” he said with a big grin and winked at me while the girl held his hands (dat kine yori yori feeling) lol

 

To be continued..

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