Stories

My Life At DESPO – Episode 36

“Wetin you tell my babe na? Body just dey sweet her anyhow since o. Ready o, she wan host us later in the evening o”

‘i go yan you wetin i tell her later but, put am for the back of your mind say, her love don turn you to capital letter MUMU o,’ i replied his text message as i lauged out loud.

When i got home from class that day, i freshened up and when entered the kitchen, i was too lazy to prepare anything so i decided to help myself with the lifesaver  GnG(G4+).

Don’t be confused, GnG means G4 and G/nut, for simple understanding, it simply means Garri and groundnut! (shey you understand).

The combination of Garri and Groundnut na one baddest combination wey dey save life oh, the tin suppose dey First-Aid box sef.

I jejely served the quantity i could consume and added milk, 2 cubes of sugar and a pinch of salt to balance the taste, (you go fear combination!)

I dey like soak garri with the combination of sugar and salt, the combo na dead! Very make sense! I’m not asking you to imitate me o, cos the combination is among my Fast Food list. *winks*

I won’t hide it, i’m a BIG fan of G4+, and i will keep on keeping the ministry of G4 forward, i can’t comman be forming for anyone na cos, “if you know how fast people forget the dead, you will stop living your life to impress people.” (Garri n G/nut issa life saver )

I drank the soaked garri with joy in my heart cos i was enjoying the feeling that came along with it, unto say nor be all the time person suppose dey chop sweet-mouth (snacks n junk food).

After i finished eating, i did some assignments that we were given my Mr Ali cos i nor wan hear say the lecturer give me ‘CarO’ (carry over)

* Caro is a name of a person but it means carry-over in DESPO* If Wizkid attended DESPO, maybe he wouldn’t have sung the song ‘Caro’ cos he would have meant he was looking for carry-over (just imagine!) lol

I finished my assignment before i observed my siesta, i forced myself to sleep that afternoon cos i played “Only Time” by Enya on repeat and in no time, sleep found me. (i got different songs for different moods on my playlist).

When i woke up from the siesta that i thought lasted for 30mins but i was shocked when i discovered that time flew from 3pm to 5pm within the space of 30mins, how e take happen? (Dis one pass Africa Magic o) lol

I was still trying to figure out the mystery beyond how time flies when meekest’s call came in, he told me to be ready for our hosting, ‘Oshare, i nor dey go any hosting, why time go just dey fly anyhow? Na wen i dey try to discover something about the matter now, you don con distract me with your anyhow call, dem send you com?’ i replied meekest while he laughed and said,

” no vex, if you don discover finish make you come outside make we go eat you hear? Kolo!” he replied and ended the call while i laughed and got prepared for the hosting.

After much-much, i re-arranged the house, locked the gate and went to the store outside the lodge to get a snack.

It was not that i was hungry, i just felt like chewing something, i didn’t want to chew gum so i opted for peanut, paid and left.

I called meekest and informed him that i was on my way to his place, so he should come outside to the roadside, so that the bike i would enter would pick him up along the way to his gf’s place, he agreed before i stopped a bike.

“where you dey go” the bikeman asked me.

“carry me go staff qrts, but you carry one of my guy for road o, how much?” i asked him.

“you go give me #150” he said with a frown on his face and i started walking away from him. (wakanda rubbish is dat, i don’t like what i hate) lol

“guy, where you dey waka dey go na” he asked me as i continued my walk.

At that point, i was contemplating if i should reply his JAMB question or not.

” guy! Nor be you i dey talk to, why you stop me if you nor dey go?” he asked me again.

“i tell you say i dey go staff qtrs, why i nor go waka leave you wey you dey call anyhow price, you think say dem dey pluck money?” i replied him while he rode to where i was.

“ahh, bros, na market na, you suppose price nor be say you go just para dey waka comot like dat na, how much you wan pay?” he asked with a smile on his face as.

“na crayfish i dey buy wey i wan price? Which kine talk be dat, nor dey do like dat o, cos i fit carry you go community make dem drill you for dis tin wey you do so o, na 70box i go give you” i replied him and we both laughed as i entered the bike and he rode off.

We got to where meekest was, he entered and we rode of to his gf’s lodge, i paid the fare and as we entered the lodge, we were welcomed by a sweet aroma.

” who dey do this wicked tin for dis lodge, how person go dey perceive aroma of food wey he nor go chop na” i said as we located Tovia’s room.

We knocked, and when she came outside, she rushed at meekest and hugged him followed by a “baby i missed you!”

“love birds, ona for nor enta house fess? Which kine intimidation be all dis one na, if this is the reason you invited me here to intimidate me with your lover, let me comman be going oh, before its too late” I said, pretending to leave and she stopped me with an embrace.

” its not like that, i’m sorry please, it won’t happen again” she said while she held me.

“what won’t happen again, are you implying that you won’t hug meekest again?” i asked and she said a big NO while holding me from leaving and we laughed as we entered inside.

When we entered inside, we talked about different kinds of stuff till we entered into school discussion and when we got to talk about school life and all the stress and way forward, that was when she disclosed that some lecturers in her department were hitting on her and all that.

“why dem nor go worry you, wen you carry the right proportion of goods for back and front, ehn?

That’s one of the challenges of being cute and sexy you know, and if you are not careful, you beauty might land you in trouble” i said and she asked me how.

Now let me tell you how, if you are beautiful and sexy girl, try not be noticed by some lecturers, i know it is not easy, but try because if they notice you and start hitting on you and you don’t handle it with maturity, you might just risk failing some courses except God helps you.

Some lecturers don’t have shame, they go after anything on skirts, they don’t mind if you are the age of their granddaughter, all they after is to have a taste of your puna and discard you like a piece of trash or if you are good in the act, some might help you talk to their fellow lecturers to pass you in their course, while others might decide to keep you around for steady banging.

Thats why i advice girls to be studious when they are in school cos,

“a girl with beauty without brain, na her puna go suffer am”

That was how one slay queen in my department, she slayed till she got “Adviced to Withdraw” from school.

To all the slay queen(s)/mama(s) in school ‘without’ brain(s), receive sense!!

I made her understand that if a lecturer hits on her and she isn’t interested, she shouldn’t be rude towards him, instead, she should be matured by making him understand that she isn’t interested, as polite as possible.

And if he persists after her refusal to his advancement, then some applications  may just be handy just in case……….. ( use ur head)

Some lecturers, if you as a guy ask them tough questions in class or try to be over smart and they notice you or you have beef with them ehn, your own is finished o, except God saves you.

The funny part be say, dem go allow you pass their course(s) o, but dem go use their fellow lecturer tey fail you. E mean say, you go fail the course of their paddy(lecturer friend).

*guys, make ona wise up o, nor get beef with any lecturer or enter their trouble oh cos, dem fit make school life hard for you.

While for the girls that refuse some lectures advances, they may fail such student or ask their fellow lecturer-friend in same department to fail her. (see wicked!)

The thing is a 2 way thing, for those of you who think they are smarter than some lecturers, just pray make some lecturers nor put you for mind o(black list tins), if not, Carry-overs go be your surname except, God save you.

If you are a victim of such lecturers, you can write a letter to school board and ask for your script to be remarked if you are so sure of what you wrote and you think you were underscored or cheated by a lecturer for one reason or the other.

If such script is remarked by another lecturer and they discover that the student was underscored by the course lecturer, sometimes, the lecturer found wanting could be expelled or demoted in some cases while, sometimes, others found guilty sort their way out through their influence or back up, this is were corruption,politics and godfatherism comes in. Our Judicial system is a big mess, only God can help us.

*the best way to avoid such problems is to do your thing without beefing any lecturer plus the grace of God.

Believe me, some lecturers can make school miserable for you. I had seen several cases of such acts of wicked lectures in school. (story for another day)

After much much, she served us fried beans, the appearance of the food was very nice that mere looking at it almost got my stomach satisfied but, when i tasted the food, i remembered the quote, ” don’t judge a book by its cover” those words best describe the condition of the food that day cos, it appeared delicious but, it was tasteless.

” Tovia, who cooked this food?” i asked her.

” i cooked it, why did you ask?”

” i asked because, because, let me nor talk” i said while i served another spoon and ate it.

Normally, food is supposed to be enjoyed but, in this case, i endured eating the food.

“tell me why you asked who cooked the food” she asked me again while i was eating the oil beans.

Theres a difference between fried beans and oil beans. (shey you know)

” i asked cos i wanted to let the person that cooked this food to know that she wasted ingredients and that she should improve on her kitchen skills,” i said with a neutral look on my face.

It was not like was shaming her or intend to hurt her oh but, sometimes the blunt truth helps a person become better than a sweet lie.

“i’m sorry” she said.

“meet chef meekest to teach you how to cook” i replied and we laughed as we ate the potè.

After we finished eating, Tovia cleared the plate to the kitchen while meekest and i gisted and a received a call and he put the phone on speak out when the following conversation ensued.

Dafe: blacky where you dey?

Meekest: i dey genesis o, wetin happen?

Dafe: omo, dat your guy(me) nor wan bring him money com again? I go soon cast am o, cos community people dey worry me o, dem nor dey allow me rest, i don tire o.

Meekest: oboy, relax na, i nor even know where dat guy dey now sef o, nor worry if i com lodge i go com meet you.

Dafe: ok na, oboy try reach your guy for me abeg, i don tire

Meekest: ok, i go try, he said as he ended the call.

“oboy! Meekest las las you dun dey get sense small-small oh, chai! Finally God don dey answer my prayers, thanksgiving loading…..

See as body dey sweet me as you don dey upgrade” i said as he ended the call.

” you nor well, you be ice-fish” he replied me and we were laughing when Tovia came back from the kitchen.

“baby, who did you just spoke with on the phone?” she asked meekest as she sat on his laps and pecked him.

” minister of information, since when did you become an investigator, ehn?” i quickly replied cos i don’t know what meekest might say under the influence of Tovia’s peck, anything could happen and i didn’t want to take chances.

*If woman fit fall a whole strong man like Samson and King Solomon for Bible, who be meekest?* lol

She insisted on knowing who the caller was and meekest just sat there smiling like he won a million dollars. (power of woman, chai!)

” blacky, oya come make we dey go oh, before dis FBI agent go com report us give SARs say i talk say she no sabi cook oh” i told meekest as i stood up to leave.

I don’t want to risk Tovia knowing about the “Cow Issue” cos, she fit go cast me, she might not do it delibrately o, but you girls na, from talk-to-talk, she might not even know when she spills it out. ( e dey happen like dat sometimes)

And if she accidentally cast spill it out to anyone, that would be a problem for me and i’m not ready to be casted by anyone over a plate of food i didn’t even enjoy. ( don’t look at me like dat) Lol

“its my landlord that called, he said that he wants to see all his tenants” meekest replied.

“why does he wants to see you guys?” Tovia asked.

” because meekest is dating a beautiful girl like you and he hasn’t completed his rent” i replied her and we all laughed.

“babe, if dem give meekest quit notice because of you ehn, ready to accommodate am oh” i added and she said i’m not serious as we all laughed and changed the topic.

We left Tovia’s place around some minutes past 10pm.

 

To be continued…

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