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My Life At DESPO – Episode 38

” Good morning, my fellow colleagues, please we should all try and pay up 1k for our forthcoming matriculation ceremony so that we would rent our own canopy, bring Dj, prepare food and take a photographer.

Let’s make this contribution to make our matric day a hit, since it only comes once in a lifetime.

Even if you don’t have the complete money to pay once, you can pay it instalmentally to me or my assistant,” our class rep said while he stood on the podium and the class got divided into various groups arguing about the amount.

“you say make all of us pay 1k, na marriage we wan do abi you wan use our money tey buy motor, ehn class rep?” a boy asked loudly and we all laughed while our class rep gave him that “thunder fire you there” look.

The class was in that rowdy state when a lecturer walked inside.” you, you, you, yes you on blue, you, you and you step outside” he said as he pointed at some boys and girls and they came outside.

“i have been watching you guys from the window when i came in and i discovered that you guys are the major fools and loudmouths who should still be in the secondary school, cos it seems you don’t know that you are supposed to behave yourself here.

You are supposed to drop every childish attitude of yours at the school gate before entering this class, then you may go and take them back on your way home after class.

” you that is supposed to be someone’s father, you were just shouting and laughing with reckless abandon, do you think you are in your father’s house?” he asked as he pointed to a big boy in the midst of those he called out and we all laughed. (some lecturer don’t have chills, they can yab  students for a living) lol

After the lecturer yab the boys and girls wey him call come outside finish ehn, he con tell the 6 of dem make dem go bring their books com make he see their notes weda dem dey attend him class. When dem bring deir notes com, na only one of dem note dey complete, him just shake im head before he ask dem, ” have you bought my textbook?”, and dem say no (na there the man tey vex).

“if you have bought your text book for my course, raise your hands” he said, and only few people raised their hands.

” so you mean at of all the students in the class, only these few people have bought their text books? ok no problem” he remarked as he smiled that “ona go see pepper” kinda of smile.

He asked those he called forward to back to their seats, pick their bags and come to the front seats where he could see them and after that he asked those with their textbook to open a chapter that about the topic he wrote on the board, explained the chapter and at the end, gave room for questions and answers and when he was through, he gave us an assignment and he called his course rep out.

” only collect assignment of those that have my textbook number and ensure to check their names and number if it tallies with your list, do you understand?” he asked his course rep and he nodded.

“test is coming up the week after your matriculation, and i might just use this assignment as my continuous assessment.  So, if you don’t have your textbook, i wish you good luck.

You want to contribute money for your matriculation and you haven’t gotten your textbook, i laugh at you in Swahili” he said and we all laughed.

i want you to know that your names are still written in pencil, as any of your names could be wiped off at this stage, so, you guys should behave yourselves.

Lastly, my textbook is not compulsory, but it is necessary.

Its a free world, but i want you to know that on the last day, only those whose names are found in the book of life(textbook list) will enter my kingdom (pass) ” he spoke in a coded parable only a few people understood as he left the class.

And as he left some people started complaining while others went to different seats to meet their cliques to continue their discussion before Mr Ali came inside and the whole class went silent like a graveyard.

Mr Ali asked for his course rep to collect the assignment he gave us the previous week and when he discovered that the people that submitted weren’t much, he said, “for those of you who attempted and submitted their assignments, congratulations! I’ll use this assignment as my continuous assessment.

For those of you who didn’t submit, thank you for making my work-load easier for me, at least i won’t get to mark many scripts,i’ll be taking you guys unaware like the parable of the 10virgins.

For those of you who didn’t submit and you are in the class, you will write your names on a list, i’ll give 5marks for today’s attendance and the remaining 15marks for the assignment”

The few of us that submitted assignment and those inside the hall were so happy for the free marks as shouts of “Mr Ali for Rector” filled the air. (you go fear hype).

Omo, na so classes tey go dat day o, all the lecturers just take some people unaware dat day like say na planned work.

As last period finish, na so i just rush go outside cos i one quick reach house make i find something chow for my stomach infrastructure.

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