My life at DESPO – Episode 4

Back to Bobby,

he took Mega’s phone to call someone but the number was unreachable that moment before he dropped the phone.

“Mega, this your broda dey well o, him dey press? na street boy?,” bobby asked.

‘I nor be street boy o bros, i be city boy,’ i quicky replied him.

“ah baba o, na wire-wire you dey run abi na which package you dey do? Abeg carry your boy along oh. I dey plan to enta Malaysia next month make i go learn the work b4 o, but as you don dey here so, everywhere good be that oh,” bobby said while we all laughed.

“Bros bring your mind down, your blood too dey hot, someone cannor play with you? I hear your scores for Club TM last week o, say bottles of Andre and Bellaire dey cry for your table. You just dey order casket upon caskets unto the big name wey you be,” i countered. *winks*


Advice: if you are in some kind of settings, you gat to be bold o. If you keep quiet when you are suppose to talk back, they might take advantage of that, and all the jokes will be on you.


Mega and Joe were just laughing at our funny war of words (hype). ”

‘Mega, this your broda na dead oh, he too get mouth. So he just dey form jjc for us since abi?” joe asked, smiling.

” na him dey there so, ask am” Mega replied him.

” ehen..  Joe, that my Chinese woman dey form strong head o, she dey say we must do video call first before she send the money oh. E be like say her friends dey tell her say i be scam, she don dey fear,”

“I don try convince her tire say her friends dem na haters, she no dey believe me again. Aahhh, senior boy, dis one weak me! And she get block oh,” Bobby complained.

“Na to play Cam for her be dat oh, go give chairman make he package her for you na,” Mega suggested.

As if on cue, their chairman walked in that moment.

“oya o! Make everybody go ready make we enta Legit. Make we go shut down the club! make dem feel the presence of Somalia for there!

Make dem know say we get Doinz, nor be say dem say, make we go pepper dem with activities,” Hkboss gingered everyone and In few minutes we were all set for the birthday party at the club.

We got to Legit some minutes past 11 that night. Before we got there, i initially told Mega that i didn’t felt like going with them, i just wanted to be home alone and play music(my addiction) till i sleep off but he didn’t buy the idea.

He started persuading me to be with him, that my presence would give him high morale to ball and catch trips.  Well, after much much, i changed my mind, so that my guy can enjoy his clubbing to the fullest (some sacrifices we make for the happiness of our loved ones)..

Immediately we stepped inside the club, the MC started hailing Hkboss, “Money man! the confirmation$ master, i welcome you and your crew specially dis night, the activity master! welcome! Make who nor get money hide their face face oh! Na money master don enta so oh” those were words of the club’s hype man, as we  entered.

We headed straight to the VIP section, upstairs. I saw some  ‘Hushpuppi-wanna-bes’ course mates(acquaintances) who were in the company of some G-guys(chairmen). We hailed eachother and headed for our spot and relaxed..

If you are clubbing, you will observe that most G-boys wants to be noticed(the competition is real). Thats why dem boiz do all they can to be noticed by the MC.

“If you nor get money, hide your face!”
You see that statement ehn, that is the main reason most of dem boys like to show off in the club to know;
*who the boss in the street is,
*dem wan know person wey get fat aza,
*person wey ‘baff well’, wey him hand dey hot,                                            *person wey him pocket fat.

Imagine after many sleepless nights and many subscriptions, luck con smile on boiz(client pays), they will go to the club, carry caskets upon caskets just to outshine their fellow buggers and get recognition from the MC, and go broke again on the spot there.

The reason most of dem spends lavishly is cos they strongly believe, if the money finish, client must surely pay again.

That sound of siren and undertaker theme song dey give dem boiz one kind joy wey i nor fit explain..

Omo, that moment wen Dj go con pause music just to holla your name, all eyes on go dey on the table wey dem dey carry d casket go, the lighters for the drink go dey light as dem dey carry the casket of drinks come your table.

For some G-boys ehn, life no pass like dat oh..  **lol**

When e set, Mega Chairman ordered for 1 casket of Bellaire and all the boys in our table began shouting  (voltage!!)

The Dj began doing his thing, when some baes stole the stage with some wicked dance steps and show of thighs, boobz and bubbling butts.


You see some Gee boiz ehn, dey don’t have sense! Na only dem dey draw attention to themselves for SARs to see.

Unku why you dey carry dat small bag for neck dey wakabout ehn? Dreads and beards dun turn yahoo signature for some of dem.

If some of their hand touch small thing, na once dem go rush go add Millionz, Billionz  or Fundz to their name. *lol*

The one wey dey funny me pass na some babes oh, na once dem go con dey answer their guy name.

If their guy name na Akpos Billionz, the babe go con change her name go something like ‘Mhiz Akpos Billionz’… **lol**

You’re still a student but you dey buy Benz, bros, what is your occupation? Tell me why dem SARz wey dey work under hot sun for monthly salary nor go worry your life if dem see small boy like you dey cruise Benz around.. *lol*(Get sense o!Na brain be jazz man o)

There are young boys making legit block money oh, but they are few. Shebi you’ve heard of Forex before.

What do i know sef?   **lol**


Back to the matter,                                  Trust dem boiz, as the babes wiggled their different sizes of bum-bums, some niggas came out to spray some dollar notes on dem, you know dat ‘dem get money? Feeling abi……. That was how the boys felt like, that moment.


Clubbing is not for the faint hearted oh, cos you would see things that may make you feel like a failure or inferior. Nor go let ritualist wey dey form G-boy doinz make you get high bp o. *lol*

Don’t let the spending of other people intimidate you oh, most of the people you see displaying  flashy cars, jewelries and other expensive stuffs, most are them are fakes, nothing came out!.

Not all Yahoo boys are yahoo boys, some are ritualists under the guise of yahoo-yahoo. Dem don go plus(ritual).


The baes were rocked by some guys as money rained on their asses. Mega con dey dance like say no tomorrow, small time he con dey moon walk like Michael Jackson o, everybody burst laugh.

Just like 2pac sang, All eyes were on Mega as he gave them some crazy steps. The Dj added fuel to Mega’s dancing fire as he started shouting ‘Go Mega! Go Mega!!

Joe stood on top of our table with a bottle of Bellaire. ‘na we dey run am!’ He shouted as he popped the bottle and drank directly. (You go fear doinz)

Few minutes later, the music was paused as the Dj played the Undertaker’s entrance song, as all the light went off.

‘Ona dey hearr oh, na Malaysia bugger dey do am so oh, one bottled water for 100k, you fit do am? If your liver nor carry am, hide your face oh! Na Zamani Billionz dey run am! The hype man said excitedly as a girl carried the bottled water to the table of the Zamani Billionz.

‘If you nor get money, hide your face! they call me small doctor, omo iya teacher!’ That intro of Small Doctor’s song was on repeat till the bottled water was dropped and some guys in that table started shouting and jumping.

I was on a low enjoying the show off game while sipping my black bullet jejely and observing when it happened!

**kpoofff! The sound of a broken bottle was heard, followed by a loud cry of ‘my head oh! i don die oh, na my blood be dis?!’

E dun tear!

Life is not a competition, nor go dey look other people life dey think say you dey unfortunate oh, everybody go blow if we work towards our goal, na the time we neva know.

Dem nor dey give award for who ball pass, just do your thing with wetin you get and feel alright. *winks*


To be continued….

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