My Life At DESPO – Episode 41

Time check 06:02am.

It was a Friday morning and sounds of water splashing filled the air accompanied by screams of “holl am! Holl am! Nor allow dem pass you o! Baff dem! Make sure say their body soak!” and it was followed by “please, its ok! I don’t want my hair to get wet so it won’t start smelling, i just made it yesterday for today’s occasion” a girl said almost crying while begging and running.

“ah-boy, e don do na, see as you don soak me dis kine early mor-mor, you want make cold kill me?” a boy complained while running.

“omo no worry, if cold catch you, no fear i don roll enough parcel for my room, you go smoke till you feel heat” Biggy replied the person.

“Happy matric! A boy(Yoma) screamed as he ran outside from his room,  carrying a 20litres bucket filled with water and poured on the people he met outside.

” Yoma, what kind of play is that? I’m here complaining of one, you are adding your own to it” a girl(Chidinma) complained.

” instead of you to dey happy say na clean water i pour you, you dey complain, you suppose dey happy say nor be my dirty clothes water i pour for your body sef,” Yoma replied.

And when they were still exchanging words, Yoma’s roomie (Samson) came with his own bucket of water and poured on both of them.

“You neva see anything,” i said in my mind while i smiled.

“shey na my body don soak finish like dis so? today ehn, everybody for dis lodge go must wet today” Julius shouted while he ran inside his room.

” dis boy wan really die now, if anybody try am pour me water for dis lodge, d kine slap wen i go tear the person ehn, e go get sense!” my brother said after  Julius made that statement.

” nobody go even try am com my side sef, me and dem nor dey kukuma dey laff before, so dem know the people wey dem go pour water” i replied my brother.

” for my ND days ehn, i don wooze one of my guy hot slap cos of water.

Dat day na the last paper of our ND 2 last semester, as we finish, na im me and some of my guys comot from class go sit down for outside dey wait one of my babe make she come outside from her hall before we go one side go flex.

So as we dey wait, na so dat my guy just go carry pure-water(sachet water) com say he must pour am for our body unto say we don graduate from ND, na there i con dey beg the boy wit small mouth say make he nor try am o, say i nor dey like am, he nor hear.

I con gats waka comot from there make e for nor be like say i dey show myself, the mumu boy nor stil gree, i nor reason am, i stil dey beg am make he nor do, but he nor hear.

He con open the water, pour am for my body, na there i tey vex, the next tin na correct slap i tear am, i nor even know the time wen i take slap am sef.

The guy na my correct guy wel-wel o, but he Bleep up, as i beg am reach make he nor pour me so, he suppose code say i nor dey like am.

I later tell am make he nor vex sha, dat na after he don collect free slap o” he said while we laughed.

“he neva see anything!, next time he go get sense” i remarked while we  laughed.

“if i fit do my own like dat cos of ordinary pure-water, na con dis igbo-boy wey i nor know, go con try am con pour me water, nor be the boy wan die so?” he asked.

“if he try am, those igbo go clear from im eyes” i said while we both laughed.

All those while the noise continued outside, people running, shouting and banging the gate with reckless abandon.

” oya make we go Excellence lodge and Sarah city(lodge) go pour people water.

Our lodge vs their lodge, Samson suggested that they should attack the lodges close to ours with water and some of them bought his idea.

I was inside laughing, i was like ‘ see plans wey matured people dey plan, i didn’t blame them o, i considered it as fun. After all its a once in a lifetime something. (shey you understand?)

Just when they were about to go outside, some group of people with buckets in their hands chased some girls into our lodge but they were all focused on one slim ajebo-tish-looking girl in particular.

“make ona holl am, she think say she go fit escape abi, after all the mouth wey she don make full ground say water no go touch her body today, na run she con dey run, her own don finish today, she must soak today” one of the guys that chased her said.

“fine girl, so you don go rake for guy men for your lodge abi? E don be for you today” Yoma said, and just like a planned work, they held the girl, made her sit on the ground and flooded her with buckets upon buckets of water.

They baptized her with different sizes of buckets of water till she started shivering (like fowl wey rain beat) before they left her and carried her back to their lodge(Felicity) to continue the show there.

But not without my lodge mates giving them full water baptism o.  I sure say she nor go run mouth for dem boiz for her lodge again cos dem mean her and she feel am.

My brother and i later came outside and when we opened our door, we noticed that the lodge was flooded, even our verandah was wet as a result of the water-splashing spree.

When we came outside, we didn’t smile, the way we tey serious our face dat day go make you remember dat Olamide song (boys are not smiling), omo dat moment we no get joy o. our lodge mates carried their buckets of water but nobody among them dared came close to us talk less of pour.

Na so dem just stand dey wait for who go first make move, but nobody risk am cos the resulf for nor funny (walahi) .

My brother and i went outside the lodge to observe and some minutes later, a friend of his (Morrizo) showed up.

” Diplomatic, hwfa na, you stil dey house dis kine time, ogbeni you tidy up make we go drink ukodo (pepper soup) wey one of my smallie wey dey matric today prepare” he said as he met us outside.

” my-guy! My guy! I dey believe you” oya wait small make i baff before we roll,” my brother said and we laughed as we entered the lodge.

“Efe my man, hwfa na, today na ona day o, you nor go enta school go see as e dey be?” Morrizo asked me and i smiled while i told him, “bros, nothing came out joor, matric nor dey trip me, i just like dey on my own today, i nor even invite any of my people sef unto say i nor see the big deal for inside.”

“no be lie sha, i get your point, hwfa my babe arrange orje-dah o(pepper soup) you no go follow up?” he asked me and i politely declined before he went inside.

I mopped my wet passage, and when i went to hang the mop stick on the fence, someone held me from behind and when i turned, it was the girl(Edith) whose room was opposite mine.

Prior to that day, we’ve only talked once, and that was the day we went to wash our apartment.

She came to meet us while we were washing and came to inquire if we would be good neighbors cos she doesn’t like bad people blah blah blah.

I knew she was joking but i didn’t pay attention to her, it was my brother that engaged her in a conversation that day.

And when we moved in, she do breeze into our apartment once in a while, i didn’t make any effort to sustain any conversation with her cos i was in my observation mood.

I don’t easily make friends so, i do take my time to study people to an extent before i know those to associate with.

Some people mistake my choosy nature for pride, i don’t blame them though cos, dem no go fit understand. Its better to be ‘friendless’ than make friends with people you’d regret talking with later on. (na brain be jazz man oh) lol

“for you and your brother mind say na only ona dem no pour water for the lodge o, ona dey form one thing for the lodge abi. Oya com bribe me, make i nor pour you water” she said while she held my hand.”

“who tell you say i dey matric today? Na you know dat one o” i replied her cos to the best of my knowledge then, we’ve only spoken once and the rest times we talked to each other is when we exchanged greetings so, I didn’t remember any conversation where I told her I was matriculating.

“you think i don’t know abi, your brother already told me” she replied, laughing.

” bros, wetin con bring my matter for you and dis babe talk na, so if i nor dey naso you and d babe go dey table my matter ehn” i asked my brother in my mind as if he would hear me wherever he is. *lol*

“you are asking me to come and bribe you, for what? How 9ja won tey even  better sef, you neva be police you don dey ask of bribe, please shift let me pass joor” i said as i removed her hands from mine and entered inside.

My bro came out of the bathroom, wore something light and left with Morrizo.

When they left, i locked the door from inside and went to freshen up, then tidied the room to my satisfaction before i relaxed on the tiled floor for my body to get cold with no plans in mind.


To be continued….

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