My Life At DESPO – Episode 42

I later strolled to the junction to buy bread as i decided to have tea and fried eggs for breakfast that day.

When i got back, i visited my kitchen and activated my Chef mood before slicing a bulb of onion,  fresh tomatoes, and fresh pepper to be mixed and fried with the eggs.

After i was done with my kitchen activities, i cleaned everywhere and washed all the utensils i used before i went to eat my Fantazia bread, tea and fried eggs, The Lord is good!

It’s good to give yourself a treat jare, to all those of you who the only time you give yourself a treat is when you take a girl out, i pity you and ask sense to fall on you wherever you are there!

The sight of the table i made for myself was so nice that i hailed myself. ” Efe you dey try sef! Shuo, e nor easy abeg, shouu, see as you arrange ur morning food like professional chef, you too correct joor” i said as i smiled and balanced to enjoy my meal.

To those bad belles that would ask themselves if tea, bread and egg is what i call a treat, e nor concern you oh. Goan do your own , abi is it your treat?

I sat down and began to contemplate if i should eat the bread slice by slice or make a sandwich with it, mayonnaise(butter) kukuma dey kitchen before, i was still debating in my mind when i heard a knock on my door.

When i went to check who was at the door, i met meekest there standing with a bag on his back and i was surprised cos that was not his normal pattern of knocking.

“oshare, wetin dey happen to you na, where you carry bag dey go dis kine morning?,” i asked him.

” wey you gimme chance first, i run comot from my lodge make dem nor pour me water, i tell dem say i dey go Benin,” he replied while he went to drop his bag in the wardrope.

“wetin you still dey do for house, dis one wey you arrange everywhere so, which babe you dey expect?” he asked me.

” You nor well o, you think say i be like you wey dey arrange your house only wen you dey expect babe?,”  I fired him my reply.


Let me say something,

If you are a guy that tidy your house only when you are expecting someone(mostly babe),  Receive sense!

I don’t joke with tidiness cos i don’t feel comfortable my house is untidy. Most times i don’t feel like leaving my room cos of the comfort i feel, e go just dey do me like say na 5-star hotel i lodge.  (Personal  Hygiene is bae, you know) *winks*


“Na truth, dey there dey fool yourself until, you wan impress me abi? Kolo!” he fired back at me.

I didn’t reply him, i went to the table to eat my food cos it was getting cold.

“if you eat finish ehn, i nor wan see you for the house, wear your clothes make you go school or anywhere you like go, surfa you comot from d house” he ordered me while i nodded, didn’t answer him, i held myself from replying him till i finished eating.

I was surprised meekest didn’t join me while i ate, i suspected something was wrong but i couldn’t place it.

It’s not like he is a glutton o, but the boy likes food by default.  Even if he just finished eating to his satisfaction and they bring another food, the boy go still chop like say 2moro no dey.

When it comes to food, Meekest’s motto is ” chop the one wey you dey see first”. That means, even if you have prepared something or has anything to eat anywhere and food is served before you, eat the one in your front 1st before you think of anyone else. Other times, he uses, “ who eat na im wise.”  *lol*

While another friend of mine motto when it comes to food is, ” food na king”  (dis one weak me) .

After eating, cleared the plate to the sink and washed it straight up, no time to pile up dirty plates. After i was through, i came to the room to meet meekest in a dull state, and it confirmed my earlier suspicion of something being wrong.

I know my friends and how they behave, i know something was amiss but i didn’t ask him what was wrong cos the day was still young, I nor dey like to hear bad news or morning cos e fit affect my mood or the whole day.

“oya do make you dey comot from the house, i nor wan see you, i wan dey on my own and i nor want any disturb,” Meekest ordered, for the second time.

” nor let me swear for you o, cos na instantly e go catch you,” i replied him and we laughed.

After we talked for a while, i laid down on the floor and relaxed, some of my logde mates could be heard shouting over the phone giving directions to the person (parents/lover/friends etc) at the other end.

While i relaxed, i asked myself why i made the decision not to invite anyone over for my Matric but, i couldn’t find any genuine reason till my subconscious said, “Matric nor mean anything, na convocation be the koko jare, nor be about who matric, na about who do convocation,”  it gingered me and i smiled within me.

“omo, Efe, wahala dey o” meekest said as i jerked back to reality.

When i heard the word, i knew something was up, and a bad one at that cos Meekest is a jolly fellow, nor be small tin go make am dull like dat.

The silence that followed was loud for some seconds.

” hwfa, wetin dey sup?Abi  Nairabet and Betnaija don finally collect your school fees wen you invest?” i asked him, laughing cos the boy is a chronic gambler.

” oboy, if na dat one sef, e for better na, wetin dey do me now pass dat one o” he said.

“make e nor be wetin i dey think o” i said while smiling.

” you serious for once na, you too do sef” he said.

” oshare, nor be me put you for the one wen you dey so o, make you respect yourself there, you dey hear. Oya talk, wetin happen?” i asked while i sat down to listen to him.

“na Tovia oh,” he said in a low tone.

“ehen, wetin happen to her?” i asked him.

” she call me say she miss her period o” he said with a sad expression.

” na im make you con dey do like who wan die? You nor well o,” i told him while i laughed.

” wetin you mean?” he asked me.

“na small matter na, if she miss her period, tell her make she go find am well, she go see am, period!” I said while i laughed.

” you be ice-fish o, i dey talk serious matter now, you dey take am do joke, why your life be like dis sef?,” he asked,  sounding angry.

” calm down bros, e neva reach quarrel, see na good news be dis o, say my guy go soon turn baby daddy, see as body dey sweet me. Guy, nor worry i go support you with baby food, clothes and pampers, after all, what are friends for?

Make she keep am o, you dun overdue to be father sef, you nor see say you don dey old, abi you wan get white hair fess?

At least if you born now, in the next 20yrs, you and your pikin go dey sit down dey reason, very make sense!” i said while laughing and he gave me that ‘you don’t have sense’ look.

” you be kolo! Wen you dey talk am so, shey e sweet for your mouth, why  you nor go born now ehn? Idiot!” he fired as he threw a pillow at me.

“no o, i nor wan born my children com dis life com suffer, my children go live soft life, i gats be a rich dad for my rich kids, shey you understand?

I go give my children street OT once-once, make their mate for no cheat them” i said while i dodged the pillow.

“omo, nor be small tin you dey do o, dem send you com school, na 2 certificates you wan con carry go house so” i added while laughing and he got confused and asked, which 2 certificates be dat?.”

“na school certificate and your pkin birth certificate na! Na man you be o, i loyal o bros” i told him as i prostrated while he stood up to chase me.

” thunder fire you there” he said as he stood up.

” wait o, bros relax, na wetin i talk make you stand up so? See as you rise like bread wey dem soak for water, you wan beat me? Abi is it a crime to say the truth again?,” i asked.

“you be kolo o” he said as he fell into the bed.

“guy, serious for once abeg, whats the way forward na, d tin don weak me, i confuse like dis” he said.

“nor worry, sleep, make your brain relax, there’s no problem without a solution, shey na oyibo say “a problem shared, is a problem half solved”, nor worry chill, na small matter” i said as i laid down to relax too.


To be continued…

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