My Life At DESPO – Episode 61

‘ oshare, why your babe face dull like dat na, wetin sup’ Azo asked as i came back after i saw Gift off.

‘mtcheww, guy abeg leave story joor’ i said with a sigh before i laid on the bed.
‘talk to me, wetin happen?,’ he insisted.

‘ the matter be say we nor fit smash cos CD nor dey’ i replied straight to the point and he began to laugh.

‘ if CD nor dey, you for enta raw na, ‘withdrawal method’ toh sure and besides, she be big girl, she fit take care of herself,’ he added amidst laughter.

Sometimes ehn, i dey wonder if you dey hide dey smoke oh, withdrawal method kee you there!’ i wanted to reply him but kept quiet cos that would prolong the talk, i didn’t bother to reply him, i just gave him that ‘you need sense’ look while i brought my phone out.

I understood his point cos i knew the pleasure of smashing raw (skin to skin) is highly on another level.

That feeling you get when the ‘head’ of your ‘machine gun’ is hitting that soft tissue inside a kitty cat’ * clears throat*.

I felt for Gift that evening, cos i knew what she was going through that moment, i knew how getting aroused without getting off the pent up passion felt like. Arousal is like a wildfire that can be quenched by ‘X’.

You think say na ordinary eye guy men wen conji hold dey humbly beg babe just to insert only the tip? Arousal aka konji, na bastard oh, but nor allow am control you, learn to tame your urge, its not easy but its possible.

If you think its only the male folks that experience ‘blue balls’, you need to have a rethink, maybe you haven’t been with a lady that has been konjified and begged to be ‘dickmatized’, humbly and lovingly.. (conji is a respecter of no gender).


I played some songs and browsed to distract me from the sorry feeling i had that moment.

My brother came in with Uncle C and Jay later that night and they ate before they played ‘Scrabble’ for sometime while i kept myself busy with my phone as they played 2 games before we went home, that night.

When we got home, about 30mins later, i received a call from Azo.

” Guy, Bee dey misbehave oh, she dey do one kine”

”i nor understand, wetin sup?”

” nor worry, i go give you the full gist you 2moro wen we see”

”you nor well oh, why you con call me now? Nonsense boy!” i replied while we laughed before the call ended.

I tried to read meaning to the ‘misbehave’ he meant. Several thoughts  ran through my mind before i slept off.

Ehen, before i forget…
Dear guys, don’t force a lady for sex, wether you fiancee/gf or fwb. If she doesn’t allow you insert your sim, don’t get angry or beg for it.

Understand that she might be going through some emotional stuff or passing through some ‘wahala’ of life at that moment.

If you notice she isn’t in the mood, oga don’t spit fire or start to misbehave, don’t allow conji to make you act stupid or childish, just be calm, hold her and pet her like the baby she is, and make her feel relaxed, alternatively, just walk away from her for some mins for the ‘raging lion’ to calm down.

If you nor straff dat day, you nor go die, there’ll always be a next time.

Nor go dey behave like sex starved ‘he goat’, give yourself some worth, na beg i dey.

Don’t allow some minutes of pleasure to downgrade your reputation and worth.
Nothing beats consensual ‘X’,
mind you, i’m not in support of premarital sex oh.

To the Vs out there, keep your hymen safe with ‘big padlock’ and only open it when you feel you are ready to.

And for those who might loose theirs for reasons best known to them, pls ehn, neva understimate the use of ‘protection’, always have it at the back of your mind that ‘prevention(of stds or pregnancy) is better than cure(abortion)’

And for those who intend to keep theirs till their wedding night, i wish you goodluck in your endeavours.

Sex is overrated, there is no big deal in it, just pleasure n fun, and some flights to Cloud9and at thesame time, it could be addictive like some bad habits you know, if you doubt, go ask a nympho. (make i pause for here first)

The next day after the last period, i called Azo for 2 reasons, which were:
* to notify him of my coming
* to enquire if he cooked, so that i won’t branch a restaurant or buy snacks, to save some cash. Saving is bae!

After the call, he replied that he was at home and he cooked. I smiled and planned the amount of time i would spend in his place while i strolled towards school gate.

Outside school gate, i saw Tovia and Meekest waiting for bike, i called his name from behind, he looked back and i gave him that ‘ you be bad guy’ look with my thumbs up while i walked towards him.

‘ hwfa na, brodaly, e don tey oh,’ i said as we shook hands.

‘nor be small tin, e don reach like 6yrs wey we see oh,’ Meekest replied while we laughed.

‘ Efe, good afternoon,’ Tovia greeted, ‘hello,’ i replied while i waved at her with with an ‘unsmiling’ face.

‘ where you hide since, e be like say you don camp woman for house dats why i nor dey see your ‘break light’ again,’ i teased him.

‘ na you get you mouth oh,’ he replied with a smile while Tovia chuckled.

‘ hey, who invited you to laugh in our matter, ehn?, warn yourself dia oh’ i said with a fake frown.

‘ ahn, brother-in-law, what did i do?,’ she asked while we laughed.

‘ ayam vexing for you and if things should continue this way, you go loose marriage be dat oh,’ i told her.

‘ what things are you talking about,’ she asked.

‘ i’m kinda angry with you for scamming my my friend with the ‘pregnancy format’ ‘ i replied her, in my mind though. *winks**

‘ don’t worry, i reserve my comment now, i’ll comment my reserve later’ i told her before i told Meekest that i was headed for Azo’s place and he said he would meet us up later before i left.


To be continued….

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