My Life At DESPO – Episode 65

‘ You dey fvck up oh, wetin make you dey para for your babe for where her friend dey na, you nor know say na falling hand be dat?,’ i told fired at immediately he met me.

‘ na wetin make you call me come outside be dis? Wey you get sense o,’ he replied me sounding angry while I smiled.

The way he replied me, If i hadn’t pacified and brought Bee back, I for just ‘buy lock-up’ cos nor be me he go transfer aggression for, I go just change- am for am.

‘Wetin dey work you? Na battery or electric? Com warn yourself oh, na me you wan get pepper-eye for, your brain dey pain you? are you alright?’ I could had asked him, but that would had seen my effort in bringing Bee back wasted. (Things we do for friendship)

‘ bros, calm down, nor vex. See ehn, babe dey vex say you fall her hand in front of her friend, of which if na you dey her shoes, you go vex too,’

‘to cut the story short, go apologize to her with style make you pet her, and make her feel relaxed, her mind go dey,’ I said.

He kept quiet as he reasoned whether to heed to my advice or not.

‘ shebi you say you wan officailly sign ona relationship with straffing today, and you don dey perform like dis, tell me how she go dey reason you now sef **sighs**

‘ bros nor allow pride kee you there, abeg, if you nor fit do am for yourself, do am for me and the rest guys wey dey here abeg, nor fall our hands, make her friends nor go judge us later, abeg’ I added jokingly while I patted him on his back.

‘ no wahala,’ he said as his face brightened and we shook hands before we went back inside.

When we entered, he went to sit close to Bee while I winked at her and she smiled before I went to get some Black Bullets.

I dropped some on the table, opened one for myself while I gave 2 to Azo and Bee.

‘ Azo, don’t get high oh, cos na you go carry your babe go house incase she off oh,’ I said aloud while the rest people laughed.

‘ Ahhh ahhn, Efe no na, one black bullet can’t do me nothing, if you know the kind of drinks I had drank in the past, you wouldn’t had said dat,’ Bee replied.

‘ be showing yourself there until shayo hand go touch you,’ I replied her while we laughed and she opened her BB and took a gulp.

‘ gather all your strength cos you go need am dis night, if I hear say you disappoint, infact, just travel back before day break’ I texted Azo before I sipped from my BB.

The night went on, Bee was on her 3rd Black bullet while Meekest left and came back with another round of drinks on the table. Otoski left and brought Red label and some chilled coke to mix (optional).

I caught Bee’s friend staring at me occasionally but she was very quick to look away whenever our eyes meet.

I just smiled each time wondering why she can’t be bold enough to shot her shot, that would had been the perfect moment cos even if I had declined subtly or others got the hint, they would think she was under the influence of alcohol.. lol

Most babes rather kee themselves and run away than express their feelings to the guy they are attracted to/crushing on/in love with. (After na dem go first say ‘what a man can do, a woman can do it better’, if I hearr…)

Dearest babes,
don’t make things hard for yourselves, if you love somebody (a guy o), ayam not talking about Lez o, cos if dem catch you, na 14yrs imprisonment plus 1yr IT for jail term for you be dat o, *clears throat*

Ehen like I was saying, babe, if you like a guy,get close to him, starting a friendship won’t kee you, most times your ego( abi is it pride sef) is messing with your brain, deceiving you that it is the guys that MUST do the chasing. (Abeg show me where dem write am put for the Constitution, I wan learn) lol.

I know self worth is important, you might feel it would make you look cheap, which always is the major reason for holding your selves back, but, sometimes, but you gotta out grow your fear voice it out, ‘ a closed mouth don’t get fed, and if you don’t ask, the answer will always be ‘No’.
The only downside to this is that some

guys could tend to take advantage but, hey, that cars have accidents , does that stop us from entering one?’ Hell No, just trust your guts and stick to your guns, try. (Remember ‘There’s no harm in trying,’)

Life is too short to be regretting about the moves you could had made or wished you made. Remember, YOLO!

I had been with some beautiful creatures (baes) who were bold enough to express their feelings to me, some even took yours truly out in some occasion and we had fun. (Did they die after that? NO)

Even if I subtly declined(not to bruise their ego) for personal reasons or things didn’t work out as planned, my admiration for them increased for their level of courage.
You win some, you lose some,’ some us are stil friends though, life goes on.

Ehen,  before i forget, don’t go into a relationship cos of monetary gains, well except you’re that farm tool  called hoe.  Being too dependent will make you worthless in the long run, try to add value to yourself n your’s.

♤ ◇ ♧
Dear Guys,
nor be every fine or sexy babe wey com your way you suppose date o, some baes are better of as friends than lovers. (Don’t let your ‘drilling machine’ think for you)

Don’t go into a relationship cos of sex, nah, far from that.(E go tire you last-last, believe me).

Most guys see relationship as a free ticket to having regular sex, Fuck sex! Your life doesn’t and shouldn’t revolve around it (sex).

If you must date, what are your relationship goals?
Will you add value to her life?
Will she add value to yours?
Are you ready for the responsibilities?; Scold and correct her like her dad when she’s wrong,
Protect her like her brother,
Motivate her to be the best version of herself,
Give her shoulders to lean on when she’s down,
Play with her like,
Support her finaniancially, spiritually and otherwise.

You gats discipline yourself, I know say E nor easy oh, but it is very possible, and it could be painful too, but remember ‘No PAIN, No GAIN.’

Discipline is like having that babe you’ve been fantasizing about banging, stark unclad in your bed, dripping wet after a hot romance session, begging you to insert your ‘location in her ‘destination  but you decide against it at the last minute, even with your raging D. (Learn to tame ‘Konji’, the bastard, you won’t die)

It is called self control, and it is not easy to achieve, consistent practice makes you master of it, and that is to your own advantage.

Some babes may beef you afterwards, others might ask ‘Don’t you like me?, ‘Am ImI not good enough for you?, is there a problem with me?’ (They may think they have a problem that made you back out at the last minute)

Others may even think you are impotent or not man enough, but hey, their thought shouldn’t bother you, you are in the process of mastering yourself and emotions.

However, don’t fail to make it upto to them the day you you decide to give them the privilege of having your D.

Baes have high regards for guys that have control of themselves, those that can’t be manipulated with the dangerous weapon called ‘sex, the weakness of most men, from time immemorial.

General question.
For the guys, If you remove sex from your relationship will you still love her as you claim.?

For the babes, If you remove monetary benefits from your relationship, will you still be with him?

Most times, Friends with benefits is bae.. *winks.

NB: all what I said up there are my personal opinions and random thoughts.
Lemme stop here for now, I don too derail, who even ask me me question? What do I even know sef..


Oya back to the matter…
‘ Efe dis one you dey smile like person wey don see wife so, are we safe? Abi you don dey see things?’ Otoski asked and Meekest tapped my hand to gauge my reaction while the rest people laughed as some danced away to the banger that played.

I opened another Black Bullet and mixed it with Red Label in a disposable cup before adding coke to the ‘wicked combination’ and took a gulp.

When the alcoholic solution passed through my throat, i felt like, I drank fire in a liquid form as my chest burned, immediately I knew was in for it, but the coke gave the ‘wicked mixture’ a kind of sweet flavour that I loved.

‘ if you continue like dis, na wheelbarrow dem go tey carry you go house oh, do you want to disgrace yourself and your family in front of everybody here,’ the tiny voice of 1St mind whispered.

‘ relax! Guy you nor like as the combination make sense for your mouth? You go soon dey on another level, high level, everybody here go dey give you maximum regard. Anytime dem see you for anywhere, you go be superstar,!’ the loud voice of my 2nd mind countered the first.

My subconscious was at war again, it was a war between me Vs me, I emptied the content of the cup inside my mouth and refilled from sweet poison (red label + black bullet+ coke).

Some minutes later while the rest people were dancing and rocking, I felt a heavy bang on my head and i vibrated that instant like iced water was poured on me and I knew ‘yawa don gas’.

I looked around to see if anyone noticed everyone was either dancing, smoking or gisting.

‘ I tell you before say you go cast, you nor hear word, lemme com and be going oh, nor me you go disgrace for here,’ my first mind said and I knew I was done for.

‘ no level! Calm down, nothing dey sup, you go dey alright, na small challenge, you go dey well, nor be today you you start to dey drink, you no fit cast for here,’ my 2nd mind gingered me, and I smiled as I remembered the saying ‘dem nor dey brag with highness, na bad habit’.

Right there, i decided I rather kee myself and run away than disgrace myself in front of my guys and babes, it hasn’t happened before and it won’t be the first. I got my reputation to maintain. With those thoughts in mind, I stood up but I found myself sitting down the next second or was it that I didn’t even stand in the first place? (If you see shayo make you ask am)

I stood up again, I saw fire in a girls bum while she twerked and I laughed as I wondered how someone could be dancing with a burning ass, ‘ abi the world don finish las las?’ I thought as my mood changed to a sober one.(don’t fuck  with highness, nor be your mate)

All those while my brain was messing with me, no one noticed cos I forced myself to behave matured even while I was quenching inside.

Anytime I feel tipsy, I’m always calm, I tend to avoid any form of discussion cos I fit go loose guard and start to miss yan, and that’s what i always try to avoid, I cannor com and fall my hands in public, thats the mind set that keeps me going in such situations.

I stood up again this time and walking was like a herculean task, I saw everyone in 3s and everything happening so fast while my head spinned as i struggled to gain compusure of myself. (I saw things eyes could see)

You know one funny thing about highnes? You’ll think you are the normal one while the rest people are the ones drunk.

There’s a very thin line between being drunk and being mad. You go think say you dey alright, unknown to you say you don manya, you dun cast.

I counted my steps like a baby learning how to walk till I got to the bar section and rested my head on the stand.

‘ Efe, nor fall your hand for dis place o, if you try am, na the highest fvck up be that,’ my 2nd mind reminded me while my head banged.

‘Yes, what may we offer you?,’ one of the bar attendants, a busty girl, light in complexion, asked me, in that state.

I couldn’t tell if she was beautiful or not cos the part of the brain saddled with the responsibility was temporarily unavailable that moment.

I couldn’t raised my head to talk cos I felt i would throw up if I spoke, so I kept quiet for a while before I voiced ‘ blue bullet’ with my last strength before I sat in one of the chairs close to me.

‘Father Lord, if you can save me from mess, I won’t mix anyhow again, just give me the strength to get home, before i embarrass myself here,’ I prayed in my mind.

Human beings, why is it that we remember God most times only when we are in trouble? ( the tin dey weak me sef)

The bar attendant came with a blue bullet which I emptied in seconds before I rested my head on the table beside me, waiting for the energy in me to be boosted by the drink.


To be continued….

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