This is a true life story with some elements of fiction and change of names to protect the identity of people involved. Please pardon my grammatical blunders and correct me, if you spot any. Thanks.
Warning: If you wan misbehave, abeg go think am again cos i get SARS number, na just to send them your address and your life wee never remain the same. ** winks**
NB: This story is sweet oh, if you are a diabetic patient or you are watching your sugar level, please keep off. (i don’t want to be held for murder) lol.
Please, if you don’t know how to smile, stop reading from here. Its an offense to carry a long face(frown) here. Life is too short to waste your precious time frowning(losing moments of happiness).
No part of this work, i repeat, no part of this work either in part or in whole should be reproduced in any format, electronic or otherwise without permission from the author(Me).
Somewhere in Delta State Polytechnic, Otefe (DESPO). In no particular order, i will be sharing the experiences and encounters i had while i schooled there. Relax and enjoy.
On a very cool Sunday evening when hunger made me asked God why i was robbed of my silver spoon, i was confused cos there was no foodstuff and my account balance was reading 3 digits (if you like doubt, na you sabi).
All my debtors (guys) refused to pay me the money they owe me blaming Buhari’s govt for their lack of funds.
Have you ever been hungry to the extent that you begin to feel headache? ( If yes, you’ll understand), if no, pray you don’t experience it.
I was in that hungry man mood when i remembered one of my guy(Mega) who has been inviting me to his place since 1st semester and i haven’t gone for once.
‘Maybe na the right time be dis,’ i thought as i picked my phone and called him. He said he was at home before i told him i would be on my way to his place shortly and that he should visit his kitchen department cos i needed something to fill my stomach infrastructure, he laughed and said no worries before i hanged up.
I made the sign of the cross, na God get power!. ‘Who say na hunger go kill me for dis skul wey i com? e no go work! ‘I freshened up n set out for Mega’s place.
When i got there, he was already outside waiting for me. We shook hands and entered inside his house..
The strong smell of weed welcomed me into the apartment with sound of loud music coming from another room which i later discovered was the parlour ( it was a 3 bedroom apartment).
Mega was very happy to see me and i was happier to see him cos he was the one that would deliver the isrraelites worms in my stomach from the land of hunger. I met some guys smoking in his room and he introduced me to them as his brother, we hailed eachother and shook hands (guys life).
I was enjoying and nodding to Wizkid’s track ( Ghetto youth) blasting from the speaker when my stomach gave me a battery low signal by rumbling. I called Mega aside and told him the situation of things.
Me: Guy, see if you nor do something concerning my belle now ehn, something go do me o, and e go be bad thing.
Mega: blood, calm down. Na so the hunger strong reach? Wetin you con dey do for house since, you wan use hunger kee yourself abi?
Me: you nor go fit understand, alert wey i dey expect bounce! All my debtors just dey jonze me. Guy make we go eat now or just go dey learn how to write statement cos if i collapse, your own don finish. Community go 1st com drill 50% comot from your life before kpor-kpor(police) go com pick you and finish the remaining half.
Mega: lol. your fada! Oya make we enta mama’s kitchen( a popular restaurant) make you eat 1st b4 hunger Rest you in peace.
Me: Your real dad! Lol..
Na so my guy enta house, collect him wallet, tell those him guys say we( me n am) dey com back na na. We blow bike go mama’s kitchen. Wen we reach there, i order for eba and soup while he order for rice. As dem bring food, i nor com fit eat again ( nor blame me, the hunger don too much for the body).
In DESPO, the fear of community is the beginning of good behaviour. Omo, anything wey carry you go their secreteriat (their court), dem con find you guilty, e don be for you be that. ( Sorry go be your surname) *lol*
To be continued…